Friday, June 30, 2006
I went to see my Mom who had to undergo surgery on Wednesday. All went well, it was outpatient but they kept her over night because she didn't fell well from the anesthesia. To hear her tell it, they removed a major organ. More like some benign breat lumps. But still stressful and painful. I spent a few days there, but I had to come back home yesterday afternoon because I had an appointment at Clownfish's daycare.
Driving back I developed the worst headache I've had in years. Seriously, had to pull off the highway twice to puke... and I hadn't even had any alcohol the night before! I think it was a migraine. I don't know how I drove over 100 miles like that. Awful awful awful. All I wanted was a dark quiet room with an air conditoner so I could space out for a while. Instead, my afternoon plans were to go to a daycare center. And Clownfish wasn't going to let me nap anyway.
Good news is, Clownfish really loved the center. It was supposed to be a 20 minute visit that turned into a two-hour playfest. He wouldn't leave until I promised him icecream. This bodes well for Monday, his first day going part time.
I'm so torn about doing this daycare thing -- he loves the stimulation and playing with other kids, and he'll have opportunities to do activiites that I won't do in the house (like paint)... but Clownfish and I are really close. I don't know which will break my heart more... leaving and watching him happily join the group, without a backwards glance at me, or prying a screaming kid off my leg who refuses to enter the classroom, thereby traumatizing both of us.
I'll let you know Monday how it goes.
The good news is, while he's at daycare, I can finally do some of the things I want to get done before law school starts. Like prep, which I haven't touched in what seems like weeks.
I also want a manicure, pedicure, and haircut. I'm getting an oil change and tune-up on my car. That'll kill Wednesday.
Anyone else have suggestions?
Monday, June 26, 2006
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Oh, and, then I can use the word "punk" to describe the actions of a prosecutor to draw attention away from the fact that I am, in fact, an idiot.
Oh wait, a judge already did that (the last one... though I have my suspicions about the gavel).
Judge Dismisses Child Rape Case After Attorney Late For Court
'Don't Treat Me Like A Punk,' Judge Says
POSTED: 11:29 am EDT June 20, 2006
File this one under "Truth is Stranger III" -- this may have to become a semi-regular blog feature because there are lots of both morons and geniuses in my chosen profession.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
I have long been a word-lover... there are strange words in the English language convey meaning one normally uses three or four less elegant words to convey. For example, the word in my post title refers to posessing a well-formed buttocks, a nice ass if you will. My junior high kids used to love that one.
Anyone else have a favorite word? Like mine, it need not be a word you can work into casual conversation, unless you teach junior high.
Let the commenting commence!
Monday, June 19, 2006
Anyway, Screech is about to lose his house. He's fundrasing on the internet. He's selling t-shirts. But because his character's name is copyrighted by NBC, he has to print "Save SCREEECH's House!"
Click here: Laugh at the notion that Screech is homeless.
Ten things I would do with $15 before I considered donating to Screech:
- Buy two glasses of wine in New York City.
- Buy 150 pieces of gum at my local candy store.
- Buy about 8 bottles of water
- Buy less than five gallons of gas
- Buy four more things to do with $15
- Buy 14 items from the dollar menu at Wendy's
- Buy Jesus a star on the Hollywood walk of fame
- Sponsor an endangered titmouse for a month
- Use it for toilet paper.
- Eat it.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Read the following books
Law School Confidential: read it, actually. Told me to highlight my casebooks in technicolor and buy a good bed. No lie. Not the most constructive.
One L: novel about Scott Turow's first year at Harvard. Yeah. Not gonna bother. Saw the Paperchase already.
Slaying the Law School Dragon: read through it. More about highlighting casebooks.
The Brethren: I think this is a John Grisham novel I read already. Yep, that'll help in law school. Oh, this is the Woodward book about the Supreme Court... ok, I'll read this as soon as I have any respect for Bob Woodward.
12 Angry Men (1957) Saw it. Classic. This will help me ... how?
The Accused (1988) Saw it. Ok. This will help me ... how?
… And Justice for All (1979) Missed it, but I doubt it will matter.
Class Action (1991) Missed it because I'm not a Travolta fan, but I doubt it will matter.
A Few Good Men (1992) You can't handle the truth: this will NOT help me in law school! "You want me on that wall, you need me on that wall..."
Inherit the Wind (1960) Saw it. Classic. This will help me ... become Clarence Darrow?
Judgment at Nuremburg (1961) Missed it, but I doubt it will matter.
Legal Eagles (1986) Missed it, or saw it and forgot it, but I doubt it will matter.
To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) Read it, managed to miss the movie.
The Paper Chase (1973) Ok, so the point is to break into the professor's office and view the profs answers to ace the test... this *may* actually help me in law school...
The Rainmaker (1997) Yeah, read it. Grisham again.
A Time to Kill (1996) Yeah, read it. Grisham again.
The Verdict (1982) Missed it, or saw it and forgot it, but I doubt it will matter.
Comic Relief Movies (right, because the others were so seriously helpful)
Legally Blonde (2001) Okay, now this is awesome. But would a 1L be allowed to prosecute? And would a case really turn on whether or not one should wash one's hair the day after a perm? Who cares, Reese Witherspoon is cute and funny!
Liar Liar (1997) John Carrey at his John Carrey-est "Loser...SLUT!"
My Cousin Vinny (1992) "The two yutes." "What the hell is a yute?" Classic.
EDIT: In response to OldLawGuy's comment (which has disappeared, sorry): Yes, this list is really copied from an an actual email recently sent by my law school. You think I spent time making all those links? Only someone being paid for that would bother...
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
My brother is a grad student, but when he was a baby, he couldn't say truck. He pronounced it fuck. And every day, when my dad drove his work van home, he yelled 'daddy's fuck' down the driveway. My sister and I may not have known what it meant, but we knew it was a naughty word and so we laughed everytime and encouraged the behavior.
Clownfish is also obsessed with large vehicles. 'Bus' was one of his first words, and he goes to the window and yell out to the 'big yewwow bus' every morning. He loves trucks too. And, he too, cannot quite get the TR sound...
So the other day I was at the park, and my son pointed to the landscaping vehicle, and yelled "Big Cock!" A perfect mother -- you know the type, 100% humidity and not a hair out of place, in one of those cute preppy tops and white capris without any stains and un-scuffed white sneakers -- turned around with a totally scandalized look upon her face. I swear, she looked like she was going to cover the ears of her innocent Ralph Lauren-clad child. Meanwhile, Clownfish is excitedly yelling "big cock! boo cock! big boo cock!" She and I made eye contact... and for a moment I was mortified. I am so mad at myself for feeling an ounce of embarassment at my child's exuberance, so I shrugged and said to Clownfish, "yes, that's a blue truck."
We visted Grandma's this weekend, and Granddad still has a work van. Hell, it might be the same work van... its got a few years on it. Clownfish called it "Granddad's big cock." Grandma must be so pleased.
(The fact I find this funny is a sign of several things: one, my husband is overseas so its been a while since I've gotten any; two, I am functioning on less sleep than I need; three, apparently, I have the same sense of humor as a twelve year old boy. Good thing I didn't call Clownfish "peter.")
Monday, June 12, 2006
The (approximately) three-word sentences are the ones that get me. He makes these statements that are really questions; he wants confirmation that this is indeed a big yellow truck and he may in fact climb on my lap for story time. Mama sit lap? Mama go slide? (That works to get us to go to the park as well as to get me on the slide at the park). No nigh nigh, go play? Big car? Big yewow bus? Birdie go bye-bye? Birdie up in tree?
My favorite, though is "I good boy." Because he says that with emphasis -- its not a question, its a statement of fact to him. He climbs the stairs to the slide, "I good boy." He manages to share his toy with another child or eat green beans without throwing them, "I good boy." But its also a request for affirmation, because if I don't respond with "yes, you are a good boy," he yells it louder. And louder.
We visited Grandma this weekend and he picked up her laugh and was mimicking it -- unfortunately, it has now descended into an "ah ah ah" that sounds very much like what I imagine a dolphin on crack would sound like. Let's hope this stops soon.
He's really curious about other kids on the playground and will often just go stand near older kids just to hear them talk or watch what they do. Today he was watching some boys catch a baseball. I could tell he wanted to go out there and try, but he was a little intimidated. After a few minutes, he came and asked "Mama ball?" Unfortunately, I didn't have a ball in the car, so we played trucks instead.
Next time... a discussion on how trucks can be slightly mortifying to a toddler's mommy.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
It's a rare treat to see common sense in the legal profession. In these last two posts, I am happy to bring you such examples.
Here's a less happy tale. A former attorney working as a social studies teacher tried to take an unpaid leave of absence from his teaching job... to serve time in NJ state prison. I love how he justifies this one. Read all about it here.